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"Crossing Over" is the tenth episode of the third season of Archer.

Plot[]

Synopsis[]

Archer's new and surprising sex partner compromises his effectiveness when he's tasked to guard the defecting Nikolai Jakov.

Summary[]

S03E10-Archer on car hood

Who wants chicken and waffles?

It's morning and Archer nurses a hangover on his apartment terrace by drinking a pitcher of Bloody Marys supplied by Woodhouse. Trying to piece together a night of binge drinking, he remembers attending a wake for a dead colleague and the evening ending at a strip club with himself and Pam the only ones left conscious. After meeting a stripper, who he invited back to his apartment, he's told by Woodhouse that he should check the bathroom for her. Excited to meet sober "the best sex he's ever had", he faints when he discovers the woman is Pam.

S03E10-Lana-Archer-Malory

Seriously, how can you be drinking after last night?

Heading to ISIS Headquarters by cab, Archer warns Pam to not blab about their encounter. They argue in the elevator and end up having sex. In the Office of Malory Archer, Archer learns from Malory that KGB head Nikolai Jakov is planning to defect. Joined by Lana, Archer grows uncomfortable when Pam sticks her nose in and he drags her off to the bathroom where they have sex again.

S03E10-Boris cries

I promise myself I don't cry. Promise broken.

At KGB HQ, the reason for Jakov's defection is made clear, Barry Dylan has replaced Jakov as the head of the KGB and plans to ship Jakov to Siberia. However, Boris arranges for Jakov to escape to the USA. Malory tells Archer to prep the ISIS Safe House to accommodate Jakov which he ignores, to have more sex with Pam. This leaves Lana, Malory, Cyril and Ray to greet Jakov and bring him supplies so he can be de-briefed.

S03E10-Lana-KGB agent

Barry gave me up so you'd trust Jakov on the rest.

An angry phone call from Malory goads Archer into fulfilling his duty to guard Jakov. Left alone, an awkward silence is broken with a suggestion to drink some shots. With Jakov's intel, Lana, Cyril and Ray apprehend the KGB's New York sleeper agent to prevent him from killing Jakov. The agent reveals Barry is the new KGB head, has a master plan involving Jakov, who he wanted to defect, and that Jakov's intel is bad. Before the agent can spill more, Cyril accidentally shoots him in the head.

S03E10-Cheryl-Barry

Doesn't ISIS have a Safe House?

At the Safe House, Archer and Jakov bond. Meanwhile, Barry is after the weakest link in ISIS, Cheryl. Seemingly meeting her by accident at Pita Margarita's, he tricks her into revealing the location of the Safe House. Archer leaves Jakov alone and heads home for more sex with Pam. Racing to the Safe House, Lana calls Archer to warn him that Barry is likely heading his way. However, she can't get a hold of Archer and instead is a victim of one of his elaborate Voicemail Pranks.

S03E10-Jakov-Barry booby trap

This is just a goof.

Barry breaks into the Safe House and knocks Jakov out. When Jakov awakens, he's tied to a chair and Barry sets a 10-minute booby trap that will involve a gas explosion. Once Barry leaves, Jakov leaves Archer a video message (on a camera that was left running for his debrief). The explosion occurs and leaves nothing of Jakov's body remaining to retrieve any of his DNA. As a result, Archer won't be able to tell if Jakov is his father or not. From the Safe House, Malory calls a drunken Archer (who is in bed with Pam) with the news of Jakov's death. He rues that his vices caused the circumstances.

Cast[]

Cultural References[]

  • The Wire (2002-08): During the wake sequence the corpse is shown laid out on a pool table. This is in homage to the show, when a policeman is killed his body is laid out on a pool table at the bar and his fellow cops get drunk with the deceased one last time.
  • Pacman Jones: At the strip club, Pam throws waffles at the stripper and says "Woo! I'm Pacman Jones!", referring to an incident back in 2007 where the cornerback "made it rain" (with actual money) in a Las Vegas strip club.
  • Richard Cromwell: Pam says she is bound up "tighter than Dick's Hatband", a reference to Oliver Cromwell's son Richard.
  • "How Ya Gonna Keep 'em Down on the Farm (After They've Seen Paree)?: Pam exits the elevator after banging Archer singing this World War One song - changing the last word to "Pam-ee".
  • Deliverance (1972): Barry's statement "When you put it like that . . ." refers to Jon Voight's character's reaction to a speech by Burt Reynold's character.
  • Julius Caser (1599): Jakov makes a reference to Shakespeare's play with the quote "Et tu, Brute?"
  • Marmaduke (1954-2015): Malory says there's a funny instance of this comic dog on the fridge at the safe house.
  • Chupacabra: A South American mythical creature which is basically a goat vampire.

Running Gags / Callbacks[]

  • One moment: Archer holds a finger up to pause Woodhouse as he chugs a Bloody Mary. Cyril does the same while chugging from a flask.
  • Ping Pong Paddle: Seen on the floor as Archer limps to the bathroom with a bloody foot. Appears later on Archer's bed after he and Pam had sex.
  • Cyril's lack of trigger discipline: Accidentally shoots someone.
  • Voicemail Pranks: Lana smashes her cell phone after a Sterling voicemail hoax, as Malory has often done previously.

Trivia[]

Title Explained: The title refers to many of the themes in the episode. Including Jakov crossing over from Russia to the United States of America. To the exchange of genes between homologous chromosomes, resulting in a mixture of parental characteristics in offspring, which Jakov and Malory had possibly undergone to conceive Archer. And to his death, as he is crossing over to the afterlife.

  • Archer's "Bloody Mary prayer":
"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
  • Archer's line about being a"sinner in the hands of an angry God" references a sermon by Jonathan Edwards, a prominent Puritan minister of the 18th century. The prayer that follows is a parody of the Ave Maria, a traditional Catholic prayer for intercession first written in this format in 1495 in Girolamo Savonarola's "Esposizione sopra l'Ave Maria."
  • Office Drone Sighting - Bilbo and Bryan are at the wake and the strip club.
  • The same cab driver who takes Archer and Pam to work also drove Barry in "Double Trouble" when Barry exited the cab and threw a truck that was blocking the bridge.
  • It is revealed that Boris is a Junior Lieutenant.
  • Barry's plan of not letting Archer know if Jakov was or not his true father had a hole: Archer could just go to Jakov's family and see if he was related to them. (However, in the beginning of the episode, according to ISIS databanks: Relatives - Unknown)
  • This episode also starts the trend of Archer sleeping with Pam.
  • Cheryl mentions Richie Havens as the bearded man you meet after you die.
  • Pam drinks a Red Beer after having sex with Archer in his apartment.
  • Pam says Archer was "just pushing rope". This refers to having sexual intercourse with a limp/exhausted penis.
  • Including this episode Pam has slept with 4 of the main cast more than Archer who is at 3 to this date and less than Cyril who is at 5, considering the incident between him unconscious and Ray in "Blood Test".
  • Dr. Krieger appears but does not speak.

Locations[]

Quotes[]

Archer: "Well, I'm sorry, but if anyone ever found out, I would die of shame."
Pam: "Well, how do you think that makes me feel?"
Archer: "I don't care, Pam."
Archer: "Now having said that, would you please come in this dirty toilet stall and have sex with me?"
Pam: "Oh, all right."
Malory: "Oh, you poor dear. On behalf of his fellow ISIS agents, please let me be the first to offer my condolences."
Archer: "And let me be the first to welcome you back into the dating pool... and/or my new hottub."
Lana: "Seriously, how can you be drinking after last night?
Archer: "How can you not?"
Lana: "Because I don't have a problem."
Malory: "Well, I do."
Archer: "First step's admitting it, Mother."
Malory: "Wh--? Not with drinking!"
Archer & Lana: "Ehh..."
Archer: "Well, I'm sorry, but if anybody ever found out, I would die of shame."
Pam: "Well, how do you think that makes me feel?"
Archer: "I don't care, Pam! Now, having said that, would you please come into this dirty toilet stall and have sex with me?"
Barry: "Well, when you put it like that, it sounds kinda shitty."
Jakov: "Thirty years of my life I give to the KGB, and now you, this...this traitorous cyborg, are sitting at my desk? How would you put it?!"
Barry: "(laughs) Yeah, you really got cornholed, huh? Wait, don't answer yet, because I'm also reassigning you to Siberia."
Jakov: "Siberia?"
Barry: "Well, Barry can't have you moping around here, y'know, sowing the discontent."
Boris: "Is bad for morale."
Jakov: "Et tu, Brute?"
Boris: "Et me, buddy."
Barry: "So, here's my advice to you: dress in layers. And don't even think about doing anything crazy like defecting."
Jakov: "I would never defect! I love Mother Russia."
Barry: "Even when you're chopping through the ice in the toilet so you can poop? I-I'm kidding, obviously. I mean, you're gonna be, like, six hundred miles from a toilet."
Barry: "Now Jakov's got a twelve-hour head start and the details of every single KGB operation in the globe in his fat, combed-over head!"
Boris: "Ah, and you have no idea where he went."
Barry: "Well, I assume he's in New York, with those shit-bitching-ass-bastard-Archers!"
Boris: "But--"
Barry: "I can assume you're already an ass! So contact our sleeper in New York, and then cancel all my meetings this week, because I will also be in New York. Murdering people."
Archer: "I'm serious, you are literally draining the life out of me."
Pam: "C'mon, you make me sound like some kind of chupacabra, but for dicks."
Archer: "A terrifying yet accurate comparison. Where'd you learn all that stuff?"
Pam: "You know I grew up on a farm, right?"
Archer: "Really hoping that's not relevant."
Jakov: "How can you just leave me here?"
Archer: "Mainly because I have an incredibly addictive personality."
Lana: (On the phone) "Archer, don't talk, just listen."
Archer: "Why, what's up? What do--"
Lana: "Jakov's intel is bad, and Barry's got some sort of master plan that we're clueless about, thanks to Cyril!"
Cyril: "Who has apologized profusely--"
Ray: "Quiet game!"
Lana: "So we're gonna regroup at the safe house and try to... figure out.... goddamn it."
Ray: "What?"
Lana: "Wait for it."
Archer's voicemail: "(Laughs) LEAVE IT!"
(Lana smashes her cell phone.)
Jakov: "You son of bitch! You actually think you'll get away with this?"
Barry: "(Laughs) Obviously. Why else would I do it?"
Archer: (On the phone) "Hello. Hello? Oh, for-- Mother, this isn't voicemail. Mother, come on! The time is... exactly 7:16 and I wish they were, but even my voicemail pranks aren't that elaborate. MOTHER!"
Malory: "Sterling?"
Archer: "Leave it. Just kidding."
Archer: "That was, uh... my, uh... The man who might've been my father...just died."
Pam: "Awkward."
Archer: "And it's all my fault, because instead of doing my job, I was here, half-drunk and having amazing sex."
Pam: "Well, I wouldn't say 'amazing'"
Archer: "..."
Pam: "What? C'mon, you were pushing rope!"

Gallery of Images[]

There are 14 screenshots and images from "Crossing Over" on this Wiki, visit the category page for a complete gallery.


References[]


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