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Diversity Hire

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Diversity Hire
Archer Conway changing rooms
Episode no. Season 1
Episode 3
Written by Adam Reed
Production code AR01004
Original air date January 21, 2010
Episode guide
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"Diversity Hire" is the third episode of the first season of Archer.

Plot summary Edit

A new field agent makes a splash at ISIS, but Archer and Lana suspect there may be something all too perfect about their new diversity hire.


During a staff meeting, Malory reveals that due to the deaths of several agents, ISIS must hire a racially diverse staff to obtain tax incentives, solved with the already-hired Conway Stern. Malory gives Conway a tour, where Stern gets propositioned by Malory, and in a fight with Archer in the locker room (which ends in a very gay position). Lana is intensely angry with Stern taking her position as top agent.

Meanwhile Pam and Cyril fight over the vacant corner office, and Cheryl (Cristal) sexually desires for Conway and sleeps with him.

Main Cast Edit

Guest StarsEdit

Cultural ReferencesEdit

  • "Sammy Gayvis Jr." is a reference to Sammy Davis Jr. who was both black and Jewish.
  • Bilbo's Coat of Dwarven Mithril is a fictional garment from The Lord of the Rings.
  • After Pam tells Archer that his complaint was "bounced back" by the system, he insists that she "unbounce it". Pam says "What am I, Tron?" In the 1982 film Tron, the hero competes in a futuristic game similar to jai alai, in which players bounce energy balls at each other.
  • Danger Zone is a song featured in the 1986 film Top Gun, sung by Kenny Loggins.
  • A "Charles Whitman sampler" is a dual reference. First to Charles Whitman, a former U.S Marine and engineering student who engaged in a spree shooting using a sniper rifle at the University of Texas at Austin campus in 1966. Second to The Whitman's Sampler, a popular assortment of boxed chocolates.
  • The Whisper Drive is a homage to the "Caterpillar Drive" from Tom Clancy's 1984 novel The Hunt For the Red October, which allowed the submarine to operate silently.
  • Malory's question "You know how to whistle, don't you?" is a reference to the 1944 movie To Have and Have Not.
  • Cheryl's new name Cristal is a reference to the highly priced Cristal Champagne

Running GagsEdit

  • Not So Secret Agent - It is revealed in flashbacks that Archer got several fellow agents killed by loudly exposing them as ISIS agents over the phone while they are on undercover missions.
  • Bullet Magnet Brett - Archer shoots a offscreen Brett for the second time. This time intentionally as proof of the stopping power of Archer's gun.
  • Identity Crisis - Cheryl tells Cyril that she has changed her name from Carina to Cristal to impress Conway.
  • Upchuck Archer - Archer gets violently sick to his stomach and vomits at the thought of his mother having sex with Conway.
  • Danger Zone - Archer exclaims that Lana is still obsessed with him and tells her to call Kenny Loggins because she is in the Danger Zone.
  • Wait I Had Something For This -


  • The submarine that is to be modified to accept the Whisper Drive in Conway's briefing is identified as the "Borei/Dolgorukiy". This sub design is part of Project 955 Borei which was not laid down until 1996. However in the mid-1980s (matching up with the show's apparent time frame), another Borei sub project, 935 (though not known as Dolgorukiy) was briefly in development. Project 955 is slated to carry the Bulava SLBM, while Conway's sub is slated to carry the R-39UTTH "Bark" missile, which was indeed to be carried by the 935 Borei. In reality, ISIS needn't have worried - the Bark never made a successful test flight and was cancelled, to be replaced by Bulava on the 955 subs.
  • Sterling comments that he called Lana Quadroon, a term for a person who is 1/4 African/Aboriginal
  • Through a doorway at Malory's condo, we see a large portrait of her late dog, Duchess.
  • At the end of the episode, Conway is shocked that the only question Archer wants him to answer is whether or not Conway slept with his mother.  Conway suggests better questions might include: who he (Conway) is, how he infiltrated ISIS, or who's flying the helicopter.
  • This episode is the only one to reference Weekly Spyglass newsletter the inter-office newsletter at ISIS.
  • After Cheryl (then called Cristal) and Conway have sex, she is seen with bruises around her neck. Conway later tells Cyril that Cheryl is "kinda weird [in] a bunch of ways." This statement and the bruises foreshadow Cheryl's choke-sex fetish.
  • This is the first episode to feature a staff meeting during the cold open.  Also this is the only staff meeting not to take place in Maloy's office.
  • This is the third episode to feature a yet to speak Krieger. He is present at the staff meeting in the cold open.

First AppearancesEdit



Quotes Edit

Malory: Item eight. We need a diversity hire.
Archer: I vote Asian chick.
Malory: And after an exhaustive search I found a perfect candidate. So join me in welcoming our new ISIS agent...
Conway: Stern, Conway Stern
Malory: He's a diversity double whammy
Pam: Your kidding?
Archer: No, I'm dead serious.
Pam: Ya
Archer: I want to file an HR complaint against Conway.
Pam: On what grounds?
Archer: He touched my penis with his penis
Pam: wwwwow
Archer: Ya, he just came up to me and was like, plup.
Pam: Where?
Archer: All of it, head and shaft, and I...oh you mean where in the building.
Pam: No
Archer: Cause that shouldn't matter
Pam: But I got this other complaint from Bret who says you shot him again
Pam: Whatcha doing bird bones?
Crystal: Looking for a pregnancy test online.
Pam: But there's a drug store a half a...oh, you mean that you take online.
Crystal: Ya, I want to know like now.
Pam: Well thank God for them internets.
Archer: ( Thinking hes talking to a flight attendant ) Hey babe you got any extra puke bags?
Lana: Why you taking a moral inventory?
Archer: Jesus!, God, what...are you doing here?
Lana: I'm trying to save...
Archer: Our relationship, Lana...
Lana: Archer
Archer: Maybe when I get back we can work out some kind of bang buddy deal ( slapped by Lana ) Ow!
Lana: I want you to listen to me.
Archer: Well then unperforate my eardrum.
Lana: Un...( Searching for a response )...Head up your ass! I think Conway is totally up to something
Archer: Duh, you think I'm an idiot? I know he wants to marry mother and make her cut me out of the will...
Lana: ah Archer
Archer: Which is why I'm going to kill him.
Lana: Oh, ok well what ever the reason.
Archer: It's not because of the whole black stepfather thing. I think you know me better than that.
Lana: Ya, I do so try not to do anything stupid, ok? Conway could be dangerous.
Archer: Ya, you know what's dangerous? Your obsession with me.
Lana: Just...
Archer: Seriously Lana call Kenny Loggins cause your in the danger zone.
Lana: ( Sighs )
Archer: From Top Gun
Lana: Just be careful
Archer: ( After a long pause ) No.

Gallery of ImagesEdit

There are 23 screenshots and images from "Diversity Hire" on this Wiki, visit the category page for a complete gallery.

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