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Lana Kane
Lana Kane-0
First appearance "Mole Hunt"
Voiced by Aisha Tyler
Information
Age 33
Height 6'0
Eyes Green
Hair Brown
Aliases Truckasaurus, Monster Hands, Shirley Temper, Spray and Pray
Languages English (native)
French (conversant)
Italian (conversant)
Romansh (conversant)
Affiliations
Nationality American
Occupation ISIS agent
Skills Counter Sniper, Speaks French
Personal Life
Family Dr. Lemuel "Lem" Kane (Father)
Claudette Kane (Mother)
Ms. Kane (Sister)
Abbiejean Kane-Archer (daughter)
Relationships Cyril Figgis (ex-boyfriend)
Sterling Archer (child's father/ex-boyfriend)
Joshua Gray (ex-boyfriend)
I am literally wet with jealousy

Lana Anthony Kane (voiced by Aisha Tyler) is a field agent at ISIS as well as Sterling's former girlfriend and the mother of his child. Lana has aspirations for advancement as a master spy and has considered positions offered by ODIN, both at their international headquarters ("Job Offer") and as Regional Director for the Americas ("A Going Concern"), although her strongly leftist views often cause friction between her and her job. Lana is known to have very strong hands of Johnny Bench-ian proportions which are a source of constant ridicule by her coworkers.

BackgroundEdit

Lana got her job as an ISIS agent during a protest at a local furrier. She was about to throw red paint on Malory Archer's new fur, when Malory pointed her gun at Lana's forehead. The rest of the protestors fled, including Joshua Gray, but Lana was not intimidated. Malory, impressed by her nerve, offered Lana a job. Three weeks later she was on her first mission in Tunisia "killing a different man," referencing that Malory's first mission was in the same country. 

Lana ended a long term relationship with Sterling, due mostly to his cheating on her. Although, his very demanding relationship with his mother did not help either. However it is shown that both Sterling and Lana have lingering feelings for each other and still care for each other, although they often bicker. In the episode "Stage Two," Archer thought he was going to die of breast cancer, he convinced Lana (out of pity) into a one night stand. During the affair, he appeared to want to tell Lana his true feelings, however, that was interrupted. In "Sea Tunt: Part II," Archer confesses to Lana he loves her, which Lana acknowedges, but does not return. In the season five finale, it is revealed that Lana does love Archer right before she reveals his paternity of their daughter.

Lana's Perfect Day00:41

Lana's Perfect Day

Lana also dated ISIS comptroller Cyril Figgis for a time, to the mystification of her colleagues. That relationship ended when she walked in on him cheating on her with Framboise. Her relationship with Cyril may have been due to the fact that he was perceived as a more stable partner compared to her earlier relationship with Sterling (or subconsciously as a means to spite Archer). She quietly admitted was much more comfortable with him since his mother had "died in a fire." After discovering Cyril had cheated on her many times during their relationship (despite many times it was a result of him being blackmailed, although she claimed his cheating was "ten times worse" than Archer), their relationship fell apart completely. Lana later paired up again with Cyril in "Viscous Coupling", although it was more out of desperation for companionship and sexual satisfaction than any genuine attraction, This second attempt at a relationship fell apart due to Cyril's increased paranoia caused by Pam and Cheryl's meddling, and culminated in another breakup once Lana announced her pregnancy through a sperm bank, which she did without telling him prior.

Lana also has a strong desire to have a baby. In "Blood Test," she propositions both Sterling and Ray Gillette to have a child (albeit while drunk). In "The Honeymooners," while climbing a skyscraper, she seriously considered the notion of having a baby with Archer (partially to annoy him and partially because the two of them would produce a beautiful child), but quickly disregarded the idea and instead decided on Cyril. That decision was quickly overturned because of underlying trust issues between the two of them. In "Sea Tunt: Part II," Lana tells everyone she is pregnant and confirms Cyril is not the father, much to his chagrin. She later revealed that the father was a sperm donor, which has been used as a point of ridicule against her ever since. In "Archer Vice: Arrivals/Departures", Lana gives birth to a girl, which she reveals to Archer that he is the father by using his frozen sperm. Despite her problems with Archer in the past, she appears to genuinely care about him and she peacefully introduces him to their daughter. This appears to be her attempt at trying what Archer suggested earlier in the season: Starting a family, so that her daughter can have a father in her life.

Despite Lana's undeniable good looks, she is also very insecure about her appearance when it's called into question. She brags about her shaven vulva in "Skytanic " and insists that her breasts haven't started to sag, even demanding that her collegues take notice of this in the middle of a firefight on a space station in "Space Race: Part II." She also seems to have a great deal of difficulty with relationships, declaring she had gone on "tons of dates", when in reality she had not had sex in the last fourteen months. She claims her trouble with relationships stem from her time dating Archer, which resulted in a number of severe trust issues.

RelationshipsEdit

Sterling ArcherEdit

Argument

Archer and Lana.

Despite having a great disdain for Archer, Lana shares the closest connection with him of all the characters. They're frequently partnered together on missions, and despite all the stuff he put her through, she still considers him a friend (Heart of Archness: Part III). However, it is obvious to any Archer addict that Archer and Lana care for each other deeply.

During a firefight, both Archer and Lana reveal they are each other's beneficiaries should they die. Lana stated she was going to change that, but it's unknown if she did (Skorpio). Lana showed great concern for Archer when he was diagnosed with breast cancer (Stage Two) and spent the night with him out of pity (he originally believed they had sex, but they did not). After Archer found out his cancer medication was fake, Lana begrudgingly accompanied him in his "rampage," serving as his cameraman and chauffeur (Placebo Effect).

When Archer's car gets stolen, Lana, along with Cyril and Pam, aids him in getting it back from the Yakuza, whom they believed to have been the thieves. After a chase, it's revealed that Malory stole the car to teach Sterling a lesson about taking care of his things, similar to her taking his bike as a child. But it turns out she never gave the bike back, rendering the lesson pointless and Lana shocked (Drift Problem). Archer and Lana help Malory dispose of the body of the Italian prime minister after she called them. Despite constantly disagreeing, they initially agreed that making it look like self-defense was her best option. They instead partake in a dinner party charade when an NYPD detective comes to look around. After the detective has left, Lana makes Archer realize that Malory's story is a lie and that Malory had killed the prime minister. Archer is shocked but still finds himself craving Italian food. He invites Lana out for a slice (Lo Scandalo).

Lana began contemplating having a baby in Season 4. After Archer saves her from falling to her death when she slips off a building, she decides to ask him to be the sperm donor, but she changes her mind once he begins acting like his typical self (The Honeymooners). During a mission to stop a radical environmentalist marine biologist from blowing up Sealab, Lana discloses that she is pregnant, angering Cyril because he isn't the father and prompting Archer to sacrifice his scuba gear and drown so that they could escape. He tells her he loves her before he passes out, and she replies "I know." Lana rushes to get him to the surface and is ecstatic when he starts breathing again (Sea Tunt: Part II).

Nice moment

Lana has a vulnerable moment and hugs Archer for comfort in House Call.

When ISIS is disavowed and the group turns to selling cocaine, Lana is still pregnant. Archer reads extensively on the complications of pregnancy, showing that he is concerned for her. As Agent Holly sweeps the mansion for illegal activity, Lana contemplates going into Witness Protection, but Archer reveals that once the baby is born it will be taken away, causing her to start crying. He tells her to run, but she tells him she can't leave him, hugging him (House Call). Archer goes to great lengths to get Kenny Loggins to perform at Lana's baby shower, but in the end she reveals that she isn't really familiar with him. Woodhouse then covers for Archer and presents her with Archer's old crib, making it look as if it were his idea. Lana starts crying and states that it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her (Baby Shower).

Lana's water breaks after she, Archer and Cheryl are captured by rebel forces fighting Gustavo Calderon (the rebels are revealed to be Agent Holly and the CIA). She's initially enraged with Archer when Holly says that Archer knew all about the scheme. Archer denies knowing and attempts to act as a doula before Malory arrives and ejects him from the room. Lana gives birth to a daughter named Abbiejean. In a heart-to-heart conversation, Lana tells him she still loves him and reveals that she had stolen the sperm he stored during his cancer scare and used it to become pregnant, making Archer the father of her daughter (Arrival/Departure).

Following Archer's initial joy at being a father, his feelings quickly turn to fear, resulting in him yet again running away from home, and going on a bender of cobra venom and lady-boys hookers. Although, Archer returned home eventually, Lana was not pleased with how quickly he ran away from his responsibility as a father, stating that if Archer wished to be part of their daughter's life, ground rules would need to be placed. Archer reminded her that such rules would eventually be broken by him, making it pointless (The Holdout). Archer showed great concern for their daughter's future, when he began to question what would happen to Abbiejean should they both die while on a mission and suggested Malory and Woodhouse. Oddly, Lana actively tried to avoid the conversation, though she made it clear that his choices were not acceptable. At last, she explained that should anything happen to her (and ONLY her), custody of their daughter would go first to her parents, and then to her sister. She avoided the topic for fear of hurting Archer's feelings that neither he nor anyone in his family would be allowed custody of Abbiejean. Archer, most likely to mask his disappointment, proceeded to ask if Lana's sister was single. She proceeded to crush her large hands into the bloody bullet wounds in his back, which he attained during a mission. (Three to Tango).

In a Top Gun homage trailer for the fifth season, Archer and Lana assumed the roles of Maverick and Charlie, respectively. In the film, they are love interests.

TriviaEdit

  • Kynyetta Lester served as the body model for Lana.
  • Lana frequently wears a mini sweater dress and small white hoop earrings.
  • She was formerly a radical environmentalist (Pipeline Fever), although she still expresses many left-wing opinions, which often cause her to be excluded from missions, albiet questionable ones such as blowing up an oil pipeline. Despite this, Lana is openly anti-immigration, at least towards illegal immigrants.
  • When she started at ISIS Lana had an afro, which is large enough for Joshua Gray to pull a joint and a pencil out of. Archer said made her look like the love child of Angela Davis and "Sweet" Lou Dunbar.
  • She has $420,675 in her ISIS 401(k) - "Jeu Monégasque"
  • Lana's sidearm of choice is a fully automatic TEC-9, of which she carries two. She has a reputation of firing at full automatic without taking the time to aim, which earned her the nickname "Spray and pray" during basic training. She is also known to questionably carry only two spare magazines of ammunition.
  • Often uses the word "Yup!" with a hearty, back-of-the-throat emphasis on the "u", and "Nope!" with a similar emphasis on the "o."
  • She is often seen drinking bottled orange soda from the ISIS vending machines which she can open without a bottle opener - and they aren't twist offs (Drift Problem).
  • Lana is straight, although she once had pity sex with Pam in the episode Dial M for Mother, though she quickly declared she was going to pretend Pam was Alex Karras during it.
  • Her blood type is A-negative.
  • Lana's name is a play on Lanacane (a trade name of benzocaine), a brand of itch-reliever.
  • Archer is the reason for her getting crabs twice, although the second time was because of the a prison cell not Archer directly. (Heart of Archness: Part II)
  • Gave birth to Archer's daughter through artificial insemination. (Archer Vice: Arrivals/Departures)
  • Until Season 6, there was never any mention of Lana's family. However in "Three to Tango" it was revealed that her parents are both still alive, and that she also has a sister. Furthermore, should anything happen to her during the course of her duties, custody of Abbiejean will go to them.

QuotesEdit

  • "NOOPE!"
  • "YUUP!"
  • "What the shit?"
  • "Hey, Jane. You gettin’ a tampon?"
  • "So don't speak to me, Ever! And while you're not speaking to me, jump up your own ass and die!" (To Archer in Mole Hunt)
  • "Or ass level, which in your case would also take off your head." (To Cyril El Contador)
  • "Thanks, no I'm allergic to cat piss…go away."(To Uta Killing Utne)
  • "It might sound like I'm hanging up but..."
  • "They look exactly nothing alike." (On Archer's confusion of smoke grenades and deadlier explosives in "Placebo Effect")
  • "Sterling Archer, I'd like you to meet your daughter: Abbiejean."

Gallery of ImagesEdit

There are 84 images of Lana Kane on this Wiki, visit the Lana Kane gallery to view all the images and screenshots. Here is a sample of four images from the gallery:


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