|First appearance||"Live and Let Dine"|
|Voiced by||Anthony Bourdain|
- "Boom... bumper!"
- —Lance's catchphrase[src]
Lance Casteau was the chief chef at the restaurant "16" as well as being the star of his own cooking show Bastard Chef. Lance was paid to kill the ambassador to Albania, before being killed by Katya Kazanova. His voice is provided by Anthony Bourdain.
He first appears in season 4 in the episode "Live and Let Dine". Responsible for overseeing the dinner between the delegations of the U.S and Albania. Upon hearing of a vague threat on the ambassador of Albania (which was originally a hoax set up by Malory as an attempt to secure future contracts with the state department), ISIS was hired to do undercover security to make sure the dinner went smoothly. Throughout the episode, Casteau belittled Lana, Ray, Cyril, and Archer for their lack of staying in character and criticisms as well as threw objects at Archer, Cyril, and Ray. Archer and Cyril had vegetables thrown their way, while Ray had a kitchen knife thrown at him when he complained to Casteau. However, Lance did show appreciation for Archer's cooking skills and likes his ability to create culinary dishes. At the end of the episode, the Albanian ambasador dies as a result of Casteau lacing the rim of the glass the ambassador was drinking from with cyanide. In the confusion surrounding the Ambassador's death, Casteau slips away onto a helicopter piloted by Katya. He explains by phone to Archer that the praise he gave earlier to him was a lie, and that he was paid six million dollars to kill the ambassador. His reasoning for doing do so, was so he could create another show where he travels the world and try different foods. After a minor conversation with Barry and Katya, Katya tilts the helicopter which sends Casteau falling out of the aircraft.
Casteau is a serious, opportunistic and professional individual who is also rather harsh on people and has a tendency to belittle people for either his amusement or as a response from their criticisms of him.
- The name Casteau is likely a reference to the village in Belgium that houses NATO's Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe (SHAPE). SHAPE was responsible for conducting NATO exercise Able Archer 83.
- When Casteau explains his intent to create another show where he travels around the world and try different food, it is a reference to TV shows The Layover and Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, which his voice actor actually does.
- His overall character might be based on Gordon Ramsay from Hell's Kitchen.