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|First appearance||Heart of Archness: Part I|
|Voiced by||Heaven MacPherson|
The newlywed is a red-headed lady who found herself in bed with Sterling Archer on an island in French Polynesia. Her new husband left her alone while he went off to play 36 holes of golf on the first day of their honeymoon.
This was part of Archer's grieving process after losing Katya Kazanova, his deceased fiance.
- After describing the actions of her new husband, it seems that Archer might have actually done her a favor as (hopefully) no real husband would abandon his new wife to go and play golf the first night of his honeymoon. Archer even points out the idiocy of the husband's actions.
- She bears a striking resemblence to Juliana Calderon.
- The Newlywed's voice actor, Heaven MacPherson, also voices the narrator in the introduction to the episode she appears in, Heart of Archness: Part I.