Archer Vice: Palace Intrigue: Part I

Template:Episode infobox"Archer Vice: Palace Intrigue, Part I" is the tenth episode of Archer Vice (season 5) and the fifty-ninth episode overall. 

Plot

Archer and the gang stay as guests at a palace.

Ray is flying the airplane that is stocked full of the weapons to San Marcos. Archer, Lana, Cyril, and Krieger are talking about who would be who in the Breakfast Club. Cherlene and Pam have stowaway on the airplane in a crate. When Pam asks if they can come out, Malory says no. 

As soon as the gang lands in San Marcos, they are greeted by Calderon, and his soldiers. When Calderon asks who is in charge, Archer points out that Malory is in charge. Malory begins talking, but is interrupted by Calderon when he sees Krieger. Krieger asks why are they are all looking at him, Cyril replies maybe they think he's their god. 

The soldiers of San Marcos are pulling a crate out of the airplane, when they hear voices from inside. Calderon shoots the crate, thinking that it is someone dangerous. Cherlene pops out of the crate, to Calderon's surprise. He tells her that he is her biggest fan, and takes her away to his palace. 

The rest of the gang arrives at the palace, and Pam is shocked when she gets there, because it is so extravagant. Malory takes Calderon away to talk about their terms about the weapons. Cyril asks Ray why they always get stuck to share rooms, and Ray mocks him, by calling him queer. 

Archer is in his room talking to himself about how amazing it is to be an international arms dealer, when a maid comes into the room, and offers him towels, and sex. Archer takes the maid's offer on sex. 

Krieger is looking for more towels, and Pam wants ice, along with Cyril the three of them go and explore the palace. While walking around the palace, they come upon Cherlene and she asks them if they are still in New York. Cyril tells her that they are in Central America, she exclaims that they are free to outlaw a different country. 

The three of them come upon a door marked Restricted Area Authorized personnel only. Krieger then says that they wouldn't just leave valuable towels and ice just lying around. Krieger opens the door, only to find himself staring at three clones of himself. He starts to panic and cry, the clones look up from their current experiment, cry, and then run out of the room. Cyril then asks Krieger if he saw a ghost. Pam then replies that she hopes it was a ghost.  

Meanwhile, Malory, Archer, and Calderon are talking about the payment of the weapons. Calderon says that he doesn't have any money to pay for the weapons. And then he points out a blank canvas that cost forty million dollars. The blank painting's cost stuns both Archer and Malory. 

It's then that Juliana, Calderon's wife walks into the room. Archer in a panic realizes that Juliana was actually the maid who he had sex with. Archer leaves the room very quickly, and runs into Cyril, Krieger, and Pam. They explain to Archer about the clones, but Archer can't be bothered, because he just slept with Juliana. After Cyril, and Pam leave to go find stakes and garlic to kill off the clones (Because the two of them think that the clones are vampires) Krieger gets pulled into a room by the clones. 

Archer then runs into Lana and tells her that he has slept with Calderon's wife. Lana asks him why he did that, and he replies that he didn't know that she was his wife. Lana's advice to Archer is to punch him in the groin. 

Cherlene comes upon Archer, and brings him into the dining room. When Calderon pulls out Archer's chair he says,"because I am pulling out!" And Cherlene replies with "Phrasing boom!" to Archer's delight. 

Calderon then announces that Cherlene's album has sold one million copies. To the viewer, we see that Calderon bought a million copies of Cherlene's album. A soldier walks into the room, and tells everyone that the rebels have broken through the line, and now are now within mortar range. 

Cherlene thinking that it's something related to her, shouts out "Oh my god, it's starting, CherleneMania! How frickin' outlaw country is that?" 

Trivia

• This is the third time that Cheryl, and Pam have stowaway without the former ISIS gang knowing. The first time being in Skytanic, and the second time being in Space Race: Part I.
• In "Southbound and Down," Cherlene claimed that she doesn't fly. However, she apparently had no qualms about stowing away on the plane in this episode.
• In The Breakfast Club comparison, Lana wants to be Molly Ringwald's character (as she thinks she's the hot one), but comparing her to Ally Sheedy's character is more accurate, since she's the eventual love interest of Emilio Estevez's character (who Archer compares himself to).

Quotes

Archer: "It is kind of like a school bus." Lana: "When have you ever been on a bus?" Archer: "No from the movies. We've got the whole Breakfast Club in here. I'm Emilio Estevez. Cyrils's obviously Anthony Michael Nerd. Mother you're Paul Gleason. Krieger's the loose cannon, Judd Nelson, and Lana, you're... um..." Lana: "Wait seriously? Molly Ringwald." Archer, Cyril, Kreiger: "Eh..."

Malory: "Pam, I know you're in there." Pam: "No we're not." 

Archer: "If Slater even was CIA." Malory: "Now he's the one who teabagged you?" Pam: "Rawr." Archer: "Uh! beanbagged." Malory: "Oh whichever." Archer: "It's a fairly important distinction."

Calderon: "Silencio! Who is in charge here?" Soldier: "Senor Presidente, I..." Calderon: "Not you, you baboon-faced baboon!"

Cherlene: "Goddamn it! Who the hell drilled my box?!" Archer: "So we're just done with phrasing right? That's not a thing anymore?" 

Cyril: "Why do we always have to share a room?" Ray: "The sinister gay cabal, Cyril, you have fallen victim to the sinister gay cabal." Cyril: Okay you know..." Ray: "I don't know why we always get stuck together. But I kind of don't mind it." Cyril: "Hmmm, actually I don't mind either, now that I think..." Ray: "QUEER!"

Pam: "What a frickin' clip joint." Krieger: "No towels." Pam: "No ice machine." Cherlene: "No towel machine?!" Pam: "Yeah right?" Cherlene: "What is this-- Escape from... Wait are we still in New York, or..." Cyril: "What? No, we're in Central America." Cherlene: "Oh my God! We did it! We're free!" Pam: "Do..." Cherlene: "Outlaw different country woooooo!" Pam: "Sometimes I worry about her." Cyril: "Eh."

Cherlene: "Whooooo-hoo!" Calderon: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, come, come, come, come, come, come, because I am pulling out!" Cherlene: "Phrasing boom!" Archer: "Thank you."

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