In Season 1, the following voicemail pranks are used:
- "Hello? [Pause.] Ha! Voicemail. You know what to do. "
- "[Groan.] Hello? [Pause.] Ha! Alternate voicemail. You know what to do, stupid."
In Season 2, the following voicemail pranks are used:
In Season 3, the following voicemail pranks are used:
- "Hello? [Pause] Ha! Voicemail. You know what to do."
- "Hello? Hold on... Hold on, hold on. Hang on. Don't hang up. [A flowerpot breaks, a cat meows, then metal clanging in backgound] Hello? Ha! Elaborate voicemail hoax. Leave it."
- "Hello? Mother? Hi, listen, I can't really talk right now. Can I call you back? Or are you pouting for some... Oh crap, are you already at 21? Sorry! I'm running late. So go ahead and order me four martinis and ... [Pause] Boom! Birthday voicemail, Mother! Ha ha ha! Seriously, I bet I will be late. So go ahead and pull the trigger on those martinis."
- "You've reached Sterling Archer's voicemail. Please leave a message. [Beep] [Long pause] [Beep] [Computer voice: The voice mailbox of] Sterling Archer [Computer voice: is full. Goodbye.] Idiot. Haha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha"
- "[Pause] Why, what's up? [Long pause.] Ha ha ha! Leave it!"
In Season 4, the following voicemail pranks are used:
- "Lana, listen. [Horn blares.] Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha. Leave it! [Computer voice: The voicemail box of <horn blaring> is full. Goodbye.]"
- In this episode, Sterling does not have a voicemail setup. Instead, his phone just rings indefinitely. He does this because "it drives people crazy."
In Season 5, the following voicemail pranks are used:
- This episode uses a pre-recorded fight between Ray and Archer with added sound effects to make it seem like the two were involved in a car accident.
- "[Computer voice: The mailbox of] Ar-Ar-Archer Ar-Ar-Archer [Computer voice: is full. Leave it.]" (Accompanied by colored lights flashing and techno music blaring at The Tunt Mansion)